Why do we hide parts of ourselves?

From the shadows

I have spoken to a few amazing people this week who have confided in me that there is a part of themselves they actively decide not to share. They are still true to the 80% they do share. They are honest and open, but for that small part they have deemed unworthy or even dangerous to expose. Be it their religion, their upbringing, their wealth. I have heard many examples all with the same outcome. A part of them how ever big or small remains hidden.

It makes me wonder what are the effects on ourselves and on the world of that unseen part. Can we ever actually be authentic if we don’t bring our whole selves.

I know my whole self is messy by some standards. Dyslexic, abused, fostered, catholic, bi sexual. I too have at times been afraid to let it all be out there, visible and known. I have worried people will judge me, will treat me differently, I have been afraid i would loose friends, respect, and opportunities. Opportunities to grow, to get to know other people, to overcome and be seen.

I am trying very hard not to hold anything back, to share it all, so those around me have the chance to understand we are all complex and flawed and magical.

Still I feel it, that desire to withdraw to elect which parts of me are suitable for which conversations. To decide what elements of me are appropriate. It is a constant fight to resist the urge, and to force myself to accept myself and be ok with the fact that won’t and can’t always be the right thing, say the right thing, do the right thing.

I hope you find acceptance and share yourself fully, I certainly love to get to know the full and complete people who cross my path. And I admire the courage it takes to simply be ourselves. In todays world where judgment is the default setting it is truly brave to stand and be seen, be heard, be known.

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