Because life is short, follow the Happy Path for more tips and inspiration to live your happiest live.
Change is a really difficult thing sometimes. When change is forced upon us we can find ourselves stuck in denial, feeling angry or depressed. There is a well documented change curve which tracks the journey to acceptance.
And even if we choose the change, it is not always an easy journey. How many times have you applied for a new job to find the excitement melts into fear or worry, questioning if it was the right thing to do. How many times have you started or ended relationships and spent months wondering if you made the right decision.
Change is often not easy but it is essential. There is only one time in our lives that we stop changing. And even then you could argue nature continues to take its course. The question is how can we change for the better, how can we respond to change, how can we shape any change forced on us, how can we change to make ourselves happier.
If you make the wrong change are you stuck with it?
I know for some people their lives have changed so much that it fuels their depression or anxiety. Perhaps their circumstances have changed, perhaps they have suffered an injury, maybe they have more responsibility or a job they don’t enjoy. There are lots of reasons that life sometimes gets hard which are out of our control.
What is always within our control is the decision to accept it. The decision to stick with it.
I was speaking to someone I love the other day; they are struggling to find happiness. Their belief was too much had changed in their lives, that the happiness they once had was impossible to find again, and they could never be that happy.
It was heart breaking to hear them talk about the lack of happiness as such an absolute. I cried when I thought of them stuck in the darkness.
I know it is hard to hear but if you are in an unhappy place and you are not trying to change things you are choosing to be unhappy.
What I wanted to explain to them, and failed to was that the same change that led them here can lead them to a better place. Change is not always easy, it is often scary, uncomfortable, hard. But it is possible.
Change your world, change your life, change your happy!
Sometimes the changes we need to make can be small, sometimes huge. It is worth thinking what changes you could make that could shift your happiness. Here are some examples of changes I have made which have helped me on my journey…
- Changed my job – I once found myself in a job that sapped my life force, beyond making me unhappy, it made me dread everyday coming to work. To be honest it was more of the boss than the job. I was really scared to change it, I had not applied for new jobs for years, but I did it and even though the new job I got was not a job I enjoyed, the team were great and my new boss was great, so I stayed in the role a year or so, happy and adding value until I found my groove in another job.
- Changed the time I go to bed – this is still one I struggle with but I know it makes a difference if I am in bed and asleep between 10 and 10:30 the following day is always a better day. Even if just a little.
- Changed the people I spend time with – This one is a hard bridge to cross. In the past I spent time in relationships which have bought me down, they have been more difficult, than positive. I have stayed because I thought they needed me, because I didn’t think I deserved better, because I hate the idea of leaving anyone behind. With every relationship I have left, ultimately I have never regretted it, I miss some of them, and sometimes I wish they were still around but I know in my head I am imaging them being here and us all being happy and really we weren’t.
- Change your habits – This is such a powerful one, habits create action, actions create results. I have changed so many of my habits. Even writing this is a habit I have changed. Now I fill my spare moments with writing and not with scrolling socials or the news.
- Change your goals. – It often amazes me how few of us actually have goals and when we do they tend to be really unambitious. Make it to the end of the week. Catch up on a favourite Tv show. Really thinking about what you want from life and some suitably challenging goals can really change your world.