An anxious wait, a parents job to be strong.

So a break from the norm for me. Not blogging today about any specific mental health. Just writing for the benefit of sharing while I sit and wait on for my little girl to come out of theatre.

We have been waiting for today for a few months and it has been a couple of years in the making. My eldest little girl has been struggling with her tonsils. Feeling sick, getting headaches and sore throats. She has been really poorly especially this year. Gratefully we managed to get an appointment for her to have them removed.

On Monday we had to drive an hour to get a Covid test before they could confirm the operation would go ahead. We waited with baited breath to hear. No news was good news and yesterday evening we packed a couple of bags ready to wake up early.

There was very little sleep last night. Nerves I think. In the end I kicked my hubby out of bed and my little girl came to sleep in with me.

I woke five minutes before my alarm. My body has a great internal clock and when there is ever a reason to get up early it seams to know almost exactly when to wake me.

We got dressed, said our goodbyes and headed out.

The staff at the hospital were amazing and I was a little awe struck when my little girl decided she would check her paper work and sign her own name.

Then we waited. Lots of people came in and out of the room. The nurses, doctor, anaesthetist. We played games and watched Star Trek. The time when she was meant to go down came and went. I could tell the nerves were increasing as the questions increased and Star Trek was not distracting her any more.

(I remember when I was labour with this same little girl all those years ago in the early stages I tried to distract myself with the TV series House. It reached a point where no amount of good tv would keep me distracted).

I decided to deploy the big guns. I put on the song weightless. (I have mentioned this in previous blogs the song proven to reduce aneixty). And I suggested we both play one of her favourite games Among Us. Far from my favourite, but my task today is simple be there for her and what ever she needs.

It worked a treat she settled into the game as we went a few rounds.

When they came to get us it was a bit of a whirlwind of activity. I wonder if they do that on purpose no time to allow for doubt.

They could not find a vein so opted for the gas. It was so hard to keep my composure while I watched her slowly drift away. Her body putting up a natural fight to resist the forced sleep. But I managed it. I talked to her about Star Trek and pizza. I kissed her and I am now sat waiting in her room for them to bring her back up. And here I shall sit. Nervously waiting. Ready to hug her and give her what ever she needs. Dam I love that girl so much.

I am a big believer in the power of prayer (or good vibes) so if you read this in time and can spare a thought. Send them this way.

So so grateful for the doctors and nurses and the opportunity even with everything going on in the world for her to be able to get them taken out.

Normal broadcasting shall return shortly. Hope you are all safe and well.

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